Hens night hangover cure!
So it’s the morning after the night before from your hens party in Melbourne. The bride to be has had such a good time, she’s actually considering divorce and getting re-married just to re-run the fun of last night shenanigans. The Maid of Honour and the girls heads are pounding. The hangover cure hens night recovery kit, packed with water, paracetamol, mints, cooling eye packs has been a total waste of time.
The girls need a hangover cure!!
So fear not Secret Womens Business have trawled the internet and compiled a list of hangover cures from around the world. Some take a more errrm ‘alternative’ aproach to medicine so try at your own will.
Lemon Arm Pits!
Dont use all your lemons for your tequila slammers! Take the advice off some Puerto Ricans. So its known that one of the main causes of hangovers is dehydration, and lemon juice can prevent dehydration. Well you would think the next thing would be to mix freshly squeezed lemons with a litre of filtered water and drink right? WRONG! Puerto Ricans get lemon and rub it under there arm pits before a heavy drinking session. Does this work? I’m yet to try, but make sure the lemon slices dont get re-used with your tequila shots girls, they are enough to turn the stomach as it is let alone being unlucky enough to suck on your mother in laws stinky arm pit odour YUK!
Deep Fried Canary!
This recipe comes to us from Pliny the Elder, who was an ancient Roman author and naturalist who wrote Naturalis Historia, the encyclopaedia that became the model for all other works of its kind for the next two millennia.
Apparently Pliny, just like us girls, had a real fondness for wine and cheese, and sometimes he indulged too much. Luckily he had a family recipe for hangovers: take a canary, chop off the head, pop it into a pan of boiling oil, let it sizzle, and ladies and gentlemen breakfast is served!
Sweat, Lick and Spit
Sweat, lick and spit. It sounds like a hangover in itself. The hot and cold sweats, the licking of your lips craving a day of junk foods and soft drinks and spit? errrm we wont go in to any details of hugging the toilet. But some Native American cultures believed that the best way to cure a hangover was to build up a sweat by exercising then lick the sweat off your body, swishing it around your mouth, and then spit it out. The idea was that you got the toxins out of you. I think an afternoon of back to back movies on the couch eating junk food appeals way more than this dont you?
Rabbit Poop Tea!
Fancy a girls weekend in the country side? A hens party in the outback? Well as part of your hens party package ‘Secret Womens Business’ are offering in the morning, not an continental breakfast, not a full English breakfast but a hearty serving of rabbit poop tea. This will definatley blow away the cobwebs and put a spring in your step! JOKE. Legend has it that, out on the range, cowboys would cure hangovers by steeping rabbit dropping in hot water, essentially making rabbit sh*t tea. Gross.
Dried Bulls Penis!
One of the last things I would EVER want hanging out of my mouth in any situation not just a hangover. Sicilian men (im assuming in the olden days) who had too much vino on a night out, didnt get woken up by the smell of thier devoted bride to be cooking up a fried feast for them. But wake up and gnaw away on a dried bulls penis. All images found were NSFW and would have to be censored. But I’m sure you wouldnt want to see one anyway!
So thats our collection of ‘alternative’ hangover cures. If any of them work then feel free to let us know. But our #1 hangover cure, its been tried and tested, unfortunatly animals were actually harmed in the making of it but its totally worth it and for a good cause. A good old bacon sanga! Its been scientifically proven as well! And for the vegans out there… bread is great to soak up the alcohol! 😉